By: Felix Bethel

Sadly/gladly/whatever/ I have never been good when it comes to kissing up to anybody or in trying my luck at getting anyone or their mother to like the likes of this Black Bastard born in the long ago years to a girl became a woman in that bright moment when as in that wham/bam penny sausage moment/ the deed was done and a myriad of angels –including Gabriel – sang out in ecstasy/ praise God from whom all blessings flow/ praise Father/Son and Holy Ghost/

And so, please believe me when I say to you my brothers and sisters that I cannot fathom how this nation’s chief who is clearly and evidently a very smart man could so foul things up and fowl some other things up and out that practically every monkey and his uncle and a bevy of braying jackasses could be up and down like yo-yos marooned on pogo sticks/ talking fool about what they say God demands of them as regards gaming, gambling and my fervent belief that Flowers is telling no lie when he says that when you play him you can win every day/ and you know – win/lose or draw- that you would love to win if only on any one day/ and that in the very real world you inhabit/ a wager here and a gambling chance there will not consign you the pit of hell/ and that ever since you were but a strip of a bull or bitch you were hard and hot at it breaking either God’s or Man’s laws/ but that you also know that, His grace is sufficient and that if you say, Lord have mercy/ He can and will pick you up and out of the miry clay/

And you say in your heart as I say in mine/ to hell with all those fools who have sought to have people believe that they are God’s mouthpieces on this side of chilly Jordan/

As I look in on the so-called debate on gambling and gaming and lotteries and how I can always win/ and as to how thousands of people are making their way in the world and as to how prime minister Christie knows two sisters [perhaps twins in sexiness and stupidity] who between them six children and who now live with their six children in a one-bedroom apartment and as to how BEC done gone and turn off the lights and as to how one of the twin sisters look as if she is heavy again / and then as to how I should either vote NO or YES/ and as to what all of this would mean to me if I understood that if I did not do things the way Mario Moxey wished, I could rest my tired old self assured that, I was dishonoring God Almighty and that I was some- how or the other in complete violation of some of this land’s bedrock values.

Gadjammit, man, stop the Effin Whirl/ let me off!

Clearly, then, there is nothing sadder than listening in on some super-smart dudes who would convince you that they are so smart that they can never-ever be wrong about anything that matters and you say to your tired old self, would to God that these nincompoops could stop for a moment, listen in to their own bullshit and say as I say Gadjammit, man, stop the Effin Whirl, let me off!

Now this and this according to Mr. Christie, “(There are two sisters) who live in a one bedroom with three children each, with no running water and no electricity. I would not dare open my mouth and tell them they cannot be employed with the ‘vote yes’ people. They are working because no one else is helping them. While Social services in some instances will help with rent, will help with payments; they need jobs. But when they are not working who in the devil is going to help them?” Mr. Christie asked.

Mr. Prime Minister/ Sir/ I know the answer to the question/ Flowers can and will help them!

Prime Minister Christie is one of this nation’s smartest and most successful lawyers/ so is his good friend, the Rt. Hon. Hubert A. Ingraham/ and of course, so too their mentor, the late and truly Right Honorable, Sir Lynden O. Pindling.

Now note that [and here apparently so] there are professions where – once sought and once achieved by this or that greasy-pole climber – can do a damage to quite a few people/ what I’m trying to suggest has to do with some of my preoccupation with people who are lawyers and who –as they practice some of their craft – go to extreme lengths to tie people up in words/ as in precisely those situations where and when they even sink so low in their craft that they start speaking in Latin and Greek/

And as any of any number of hapless souls would know and agree, once these chaps are done with you/ land gone/ you’re deep in debt and you do not have a clue as to how and why you stew as you do in this or that lawyer’s goo/

Happily, there are all those other occasions when this or that singularly-wicked person/armed with a cleverest of lawyers is able to convince twelve of the criminal’s realest of peers that their wicked brother or sister should be acquitted/ as in if the gloves do not fit, you have to acquit/

Now this and this according to Mr. Christie, “(There are two sisters) who live in a one bedroom with three children each, with no running water and no electricity. I would not dare open my mouth and tell them they cannot be employed with the ‘vote yes’ people. They are working because no one else is helping them. While Social services in some instances will help with rent, will help with payments; they need jobs. But when they are not working who in the devil is going to help them?” Mr. Christie asked.

Mr. Prime Minister/ Sir/ I know the answer to the question/ Flowers can and will help them!

To close down every web-shop ahead of the referendum would take great effort and cost taxpayers a lot of money, Prime Minister Perry Christie insisted yesterday.

His statement came in response to calls from clergymen and vote “no” campaigners that the government should have shut down all number houses pending the outcome of tallied votes on January 28.

And while proponents of gambling have argued that around 3,000 persons would be left jobless should the “no” vote win, Mr. Christie said his administration would have no choice but to fill the employment gap.
“I told the church (and) I was very honest with the church,” he said. “I was not going to even try it. As I said before, it would take a lot of effort and a lot of money to try. Whenever that happens, if there is a ‘no’ vote, and we begin the process, you will see the extent to which that is going to be a very costly affair.

“The government has to (be prepared to find them jobs).

“Everyone knows what the economy of the Bahamas is facing.

“There are a number of investments that are now reaching the point where they will be able to hire. Some (are) in the pipeline where later this year they will begin to hire. So we are optimistic. There are so many people who are unemployed that the prospect of adding to it will be just another challenge, but the people of the Bahamas will exercise their judgment in this regard.

“We just have to wait and see what they will do.”